I have tried several times to be faithful enough to keep up with a blog. I think I need to stop trying to make it a big deal and try to make it a fun occasional thing with less commitment to posting. I know in the blogs I've followed that more frequent posts are more fun, but perhaps that will come with feeling reduced pressure to post.
I am intending this blog to be a document of what I am learning in school (for cosmetology), and how I am learning to be a better mom.
It has been a long time coming that I have learned how to relate with my oldest, M. When he was born, I had crazy ideas and most of them were so far off from what kids really need. I planned on telling him that Santa wasn't real and never having a tooth fairy. I didn't want to lie to him. I would never baby-talk to him (which I actually didn't, amazingly). And many other things. However, in my intention to treat him like a little man instead of a baby, I didn't connect with him as I should've. I expected things of him as a 2 year old that I wouldn't expect from him now as a 5 year old.
I also have a 2 year old, J. He is so night and day different from M it's not even funny. As soon as he could crawl, he zipped right into the other room and didn't even look back to see if I was following him. He hasn't slowed down since. I connected a lot differently with J than I did his brother. I'd learned a few things and grown up a lot between having the two of them.
I still struggle with a lot of things. I used to be an avid yeller. Now, it's very infrequent but I always feel awful after it happens. I don't feed them enough vegetables, and rely way too much on Mac n cheese for dinner. And I get sucked in by technology and ignore them while they suck up tv. I hope to maybe get some feedback and ideas as I post about how things go in my life, things I'm cooking, games we're playing, ways I'm helping them learn and how I'm dealing with the frustrations.
